Put Your Oxygen Mask On First | The Alternative Board

Running a business today is not easy.

For many private business owners, it can feel isolating. You carry responsibility that doesn’t shut off at night. Decisions follow you home. Problems sit in the back of your mind when you’re with your family, when you’re trying to rest.

All this happens even when things are going well.

From the outside, people admire you as a success. A builder. A leader. Someone who has achieved what many aspire to.

On the inside, it can feel messy, chaotic, and heavy.

And it’s not just the business. The world itself feels overwhelming at times. Economic uncertainty. Political disruption. Employee anxiety. Technology moving faster than any of us can fully keep up with.

In all of this, there’s an unspoken expectation from employees, customers, even family - that you’re supposed to have the answer, stay strong, and keep moving forward.

But who is taking care of you? Let’s look at the key reasons burnout affects leaders, too, and why business owners need to take care of themselves before they can be their best for their business.

Why Personal Well-Being Is a Leadership Imperative for Business Owners

Most business owners are exceptionally good at taking care of others.

You take care of your employees.
You take care of your customers.
You take care of your families.

But how well are you taking care of yourself?

There’s a reason airlines tell us to put the oxygen mask on ourselves first. If we run out of air, we can’t help anyone else.

Many owners built their businesses by pushing. By sacrificing. By doing whatever it took to keep things moving forward. For a long time, that works.

Until it doesn’t.

Feeling burnout as a leader doesn’t just feel unpleasant. It affects the quality of your decisions. Emotional fatigue narrows perspective. Chronic stress leads to reactivity. A blurred sense of purpose quietly drains motivation. Over time, the business begins to reflect the internal state of its leader.

Your energy sets the tone. Your presence shapes culture. Your mindset affects your team.

Taking care of yourself is not indulgent. It is an absolute must for leaders.

Personal Well-Being Is Multidimensional

Personal well-being is not simply about physical health or taking a vacation once a year. It’s far more comprehensive. In fact, when we look at the trials of business owner burnout holistically, we see several important areas that deeply influence performance and fulfillment.

1. Identity & Purpose

Many owners’ identities become tightly intertwined with their businesses. When revenue is up, confidence rises. When it’s down, self-doubt creeps in.

But sustainable leadership requires a grounded sense of identity beyond the business.

Ask yourself:

• Are my values clear, and do they consistently guide my decisions?
• Is my definition of success aligned with what truly fulfills me? Or primarily shaped by external expectations?
• Do I feel a genuine sense of purpose, beyond quarterly results?

When your identity is primarily tied to business performance, every fluctuation feels personal. When it’s grounded in values and purpose, you lead from steadiness rather than volatility.

2. Emotional & Mental Well-Being

Business ownership requires making decisions under uncertainty…often daily.

If those decisions are made from fatigue, frustration, or overwhelm, quality declines. If they’re made from clarity and steadiness, performance improves.

Consider:

• Do I feel mentally steady and emotionally balanced?
• Am I present, or constantly preoccupied with past issues and future worries?
• Do I have healthy strategies to manage stress and bounce back from setbacks?

Emotional regulation is not a soft skill. It is a strategic advantage.

3. Relationships & Connection

Leadership can be isolating. You can’t say everything to your employees. You don’t want to worry your family. And even with friends, it’s hard to explain the weight of being responsible for other people’s livelihoods.

Strong relationships matter - both professionally and personally.

• Do I have trusted peer relationships with people who truly understand my world?
• When I’m struggling, do I reach out — or do I withdraw?
• Are my closest relationships energized by my presence, or strained by my stress?

Isolation doesn’t just feel lonely. It narrows thinking, increases reactivity, and magnifies stress.

Connection, on the other hand, provides perspective, emotional regulation, support, accountability, and shared wisdom.

The right relationships don’t remove pressure. They make it sustainable.

4. Energy, Health & Recovery

Energy is the currency of leadership.

Energy is not just about sleep. It’s about how you fuel, move, manage stress, and recover. It’s about whether your daily habits build capacity or quietly deplete it.

Ask yourself:

• Does my lifestyle actively build energy? Or am I borrowing from tomorrow to survive today?
• Do I have healthy lifestyle habits?
• Do I have rhythms of recovery built into my week - not just vacations once or twice a year?

High-performing leaders understand a simple truth:

You cannot sustainably demand peak performance from yourself without deliberately replenishing the system that produces it.

Energy is not infinite. It must be nourished.

5. Life Integration & Balance

Many business owners feel their time and energy are controlled by external demands. The business dictates the schedule. Emails invade evenings. Work seeps into weekends.

But leadership improves when owners regain balance:

• Do I feel in control of how I spend my time and energy?
• Can I mentally step away from work and be present with family?
• Do I have fulfilling interests outside of my business?
• Am I investing in my own growth and contribution beyond immediate responsibilities?

A business should enhance your life, not consume it.

Why Self-Neglect Eventually Shows Up in the Business

When owners run on low energy or emotional depletion, it eventually manifests in subtle but significant ways:

• Short-term decision-making replaces long-term strategy.
• Difficult conversations are avoided.
• Reactivity increases.
• Team morale declines.
• Innovation slows.
• Personal relationships strain.

The business does not outperform the well-being of its leader for long.

Strong businesses can only be led by strong owners.

Practical Strategies for Strengthening Personal Well-Being

Improving well-being does not require dramatic life overhauls. It requires intentional shifts.

Clarify What Success Really Means to You

Revisit your definition of success. Is it revenue alone? The value you create for customers and employees? Or does it include fulfillment, contribution, and quality of life?

Write down what success looks like at 70 years old. Would today’s version of you be proud of the path you’re on?

Reclaim Control of Your Time

Audit your calendar. What percentage of your week is spent on work only you can do? Where are you reacting instead of leading?

Even small shifts such as blocking thinking time, delegating low-value tasks and setting boundaries around email, can restore agency.

Build Real Recovery into Your Routine

Sleep is not optional. Neither is exercise. Neither is meaningful downtime.

High performers treat recovery as strategic.

Separate Identity from Performance

Practice noticing when your mood is directly tied to business metrics. Develop anchors outside the business - family roles, friendships, hobbies, community contribution.

Burnout as a leader happens when you forget you are more than your company’s latest numbers.

Invest in Personal Growth

Reading, reflection, coaching, learning - these are not luxuries. They sharpen perspective and sustain relevance. They help you become the leader that your employees want to follow.

Growth fuels energy.

The Profound Impact of a Peer Group

Most business owners do not have a safe place to be fully honest about what they’re carrying.

That’s why communities like a peer advisory board matter so much.

A board is not about pretending everything is fine. It’s a place where you can slow down, speak openly, and think clearly. It’s a place where others understand your world because they’re living it too.

There’s no judgment. No posturing. No need to impress.

Just real conversations with people who want to help you succeed.

In a world that often feels noisy and unpredictable, that kind of space is rare.

And for many owners, it becomes a safe harbor.

A peer board is a place to regain perspective.

A place to test decisions before implementing them.

A place to admit uncertainty without losing credibility.

A place to realize you are not alone.

Isolation shrinks leaders. Connection expands them.

When you share the weight, it becomes manageable. When you receive candid input, blind spots go away. When others hold you accountable for your own well-being - not just your revenue - change accelerates.

Why Owners Resist Prioritizing Their Own Well-Being

If all of this sounds obvious, here’s the uncomfortable truth:

Most business owners already know they should take better care of themselves.

So why don’t they?

Because high-achieving owners are wired a certain way.

You are conditioned to push.
To outwork problems.
To sacrifice short-term comfort for long-term results.
To carry more than your share.

That wiring helped you build your business.

But the very traits that created success can quietly undermine sustainability.

Many owners subconsciously believe:

• Slowing down means losing momentum.
• Delegating means losing control.
• Taking time for themselves feels indulgent.
• Admitting strain feels like weakness.

So they push longer. Carry more. Delay recovery.
Tell themselves they’ll rest next week, month or year. Before long, they find themselves burnt out.

But leadership at scale is different than startup survival.

At this stage, your role is not to be the hardest-working person in the room.

Your role is to be the clearest thinker.
The calmest presence under pressure.
The most emotionally regulated person in the room.

That requires energy.

It requires emotional balance.

It requires overall well-being.

When you strengthen your own capacity, everything downstream improves: culture, decision quality, strategic thinking, even personal relationships.

And when you neglect it, the erosion is subtle but cumulative.

The Strongest Leaders Put Their Oxygen Masks on First

The strongest leaders are not the ones who never struggle.

They are the ones who know how to recharge both physically and emotionally. Who know when to step back. Who are intentional about sustaining themselves for the long journey.

Because the truth is simple:

Your business needs you at your best.
Your people need you present.
Your family needs you whole.

So here is the question that matters:

What does putting your oxygen mask on first look like for you right now?

Is it more rest?
Clearer boundaries?
A deeper connection to purpose?
Stronger peer support?
A renewed commitment to health?

Or joining a peer group?

Whatever the answer, treat it not as indulgence — but as responsibility.

Your well-being is not separate from your leadership. It is the foundation of it.